Traditionally, when people think of weddings, they think about the bride. When it comes to supplier meetings, you can see them gushing over the bride expecting her to have the final say, or when it comes to the actual day, everyone seems all too concerned about what the bride will be wearing and seem to almost bypass the groom.
It’s kind of sad in a way but also means the bride is often overwhelmed with so much pressure that it’s up to you to stick by her side and make her feel calm. There are a few things we recommend you should never get involved with (look out for a future post), but today, it’s all about the things you should be doing to earn extra brownie points with your wife-to-be.
1. Only intervene when necessary
We recently read the most hilarious stat. Apparently being the groom means you should be aware of the 80/20 rule, which basically means 80 per cent of your wedding costs will come from 20 per cent of the decisions (The Knot). This means it’s key that you help your fiancée with the right 20 per cent. You’re going to have to think carefully and pick the right battle. When it comes to things like catering, venue sourcing and guest list, you need to have an input – when it comes to things like centerpieces, clothing and cake – perhaps let her take the lead.
2. Write your vows and speech
This is something you will have to do yourself. Of course you can always go down the route of hiring a copywriter or if you’ve invested in a quality wedding planner, he or she may be able to help. Remember, this is your job and you need to get it right. Do not embarrass the bride in front of all her guests, but maintain a balance of being sensitive, funny and all-round adorable at the same time. No pressure!
3. Pick your Groomsmen
This is the important one. When it comes to Indian weddings, traditionally the brother-in-law was chosen to be the best man with the remaining brothers and friends all pitching in. Nowadays it’s pretty much open to anyone. Don’t pick the guys who you tend to have the most fun drinking down the pub with. Choose the men who can focus on the task at hand. They need to be able to think quickly on their feet, not be beaten down by over-the-top (almost scary) aunties and most importantly have your back at all times.
4. Pick your outfit
If you pick the right Groomsmen they should be able to help you with this task. If not, perhaps take along a female member of the family who is not afraid to dish out the truth. There are so many online publications dedicated to wedding-day outfits that should give you some sort of indication – Pinterest is also a great source. But, if all else fails, just go with your gut and wear whatever you feel comfortable in.
5. Practice your first dance
This is perhaps for some people the most terrifying part of the day – especially if they’re not big on dancing. However, those drops of sweat and stomach wrenching nerves can all be avoided by simply investing in a few dance lessons prior to the big day. If you want to surprise your bride then take the lessons without her, but if you both want to perfect your moves as a couple then enroll together – which can actually work quite well as a date night in between all the craziness of wedding planning. Just remember, there’s no need to go over the top with a Bollywood-style choreographed routine – we’re not the biggest fans.